The Cherish of Wrath opened its wide mouth and thundered across the Semi-Sunken Plain. "IT IS NOT FAIR THAT WE TOO NOT BE FORMALLY CELEBRATED, I WISH A DAY FOR STREET AND FIELD TO SOAK IN BLOOD AND TEAR."

The Cherish of Pride drew itself upright, drew in its considerable faux-dignity as well. "My Sibling in Consumption, the humans rarely celebrate their vices so openly. They almost always need at least a paper-thin pretense." It smiled, a small, smug thing that dripped self-satisfaction. Literally, by the laws of this metaphysical plane. Or possibly infraphysical, as it was certainly not one of the higher planes.

"Mmmm, dearsss, that'sss not true. Have you sssseen the namesss on their placesss of nakednesss? Csselebration indeed." The Cherish of Lust stretched itself out as it spoke, languid, repulsively obscene.

"Those aahhmmm do not count," the Cherish of Gluttony said, strands and crumbs of much less metaphorical substances than self-regard falling from its immense jowls. "They are still ahhmmm subject to stigmas and certainly not yaahlmmm celebrated with a whole twelfth of the year."

The Cherish of Pride inclined its head. "Thank you, sibling. You are correct, as all who agree with me generally are. This 'Month of Pride' they are celebrating is more a rejection of prejudicial shame than true Pride. Which is, in my august opinion, shameful in and of itself. Pride should be celebrated. Yes, there are prideful people at these events, my favored meal is omnipresent and strong nearly everywhere. It's why I am the best of us, the most well-fed. But it is not the true reason for them."

The Cherish of Envy shuddered and hissed. "Still it is the name of your delicacy that is everywhere. You are already the best-fed among us, and I, I, I have to watch while you—"

"Ohhh do be quiet and spaaare me the effort of liiistening to your praaattle," said the Cherish of Sloth. "The riiise of sooocial meedia has maaade you faaat and oooverfed."

"It is not a steady diet, like our Sibling the Consumer of Pride enjoys, not for me," the Cherish of Envy replied. "They are starting to realize, many of them are setting it aside, they are not all feeding meeeee." Its words petered out in a thinning whine as it shuddered in self-pity.

"Envy me you should," said the Cherish of Pride, "but not for this. Envy me because I am the greatest among you, and always will be. I feed on each and every one of them, even the ones who think they are the most sad and broken and without self-regard, because only Pride itself makes these things a burden to them. Only a very few ever approach true humility. As it should be."

The Cherish of Wrath slammed the semisolid ground with its clubbed, spike-studded forelimbs. "SPARE US YOUR ARROGANCE, SIBLING. I HAVE NOT FED ON A WORLD WAR IN FAR TOO LONG. THIS IS YOUR FAULT. THEIR PRIDE IN SOIL AND BLOOD HAS WANED, NOT ENOUGH OF THEM WOULD SHED BLOOD FOR THESE NOBLE REASONS."

"Oh pleasssse," the Cherish of Lust said. "You have the entire networked game-culture to feed on, jussst as I have…other networked delightsss. I know it isss not your favorite meal, not like real blood. It isss the sssame for me, I would prefer true orgiesss to recorded obssscenities, but thessse happen only ssso often where through their new networksss…it isss ssso abundant."

The Cherish of Wrath exhaled, a blast of iron and charged air. "I SUPPOSE THIS RAGE IS VERY SWEET THOUGH LESS SUBSTANTIAL. I DO ALSO LOVE THEIR AUTOMOBILES. THOUGH THEY WISH TO AUTOMATE THESE. OH! THE MEALS I SHALL LOSE!"

"Aaaahhh, yessss, sweeeet automaaation," the Cherish of Sloth slurred. "Ooone daaaay sooon I shaaall beeee the beeest feeeed."

The Cherish of Greed cackled and rubbed together its seven hands in turn. "They won't lie idle just because they have what they need, oh no no no, they will always want more, they will think they need it, more more more, and when true needs no longer need their effort they can turn sweat and striving toward more more more, never never enough."

"Yes, yes," the Cherish of Pride said. "The world is changing for all of you. It will wax and wane, but still," its smile spread to its entire metaphysical form, "I will always be the greatest of us, no matter the new ways they learn to speak to each other, and regardless of what they might name their celebrations."

Come on by r/Magleby for more elaborate lies.

Source: first top-level non-bot comment from r/WritingPrompts.